Finances In Marriage

Every marriage has its ups and downs – and you’d be surprised how many relate to finances. That’s because, as a happy couple, you’re typically a team when it comes to managing your money … and one party’s spending and saving habits can easily affect the other. Noting this, it’s important to get marriage finances sorted out as soon as possible upfront, and for you to discuss with your partner how you plan to manage your money as a couple.

For some, finances in marriage are handled separately, others jointly. Still more folks considering how married couples handle finances elect to do so by splitting things up across a mix of joint and separate accounts. In any event, finances in marriage are an important topic of discussion that couples are advised to actively chat about, as effective money management for the married is most certainly a team sport.

Let’s take a closer look at specific hints, tips and advice that can help you stay one step ahead of couple finances, jointly map out financial goals and better plan for your future.

What Are The Most Common Finance Issues Married Couples Face?

Marriage can present certain financial challenges that can present a drain on both your relationship and household budget. Thankfully, you can avoid falling into some of the most common traps by considering the following common finance issues and planning around them.

1. Hidden Spending

You know and love your partner – but just how well, prior to saying “I do,” do you really know their spending habits? Are you more frugal where they tend to splurge? Do you wonder why so many Amazon boxes keep showing up? To avoid hiccups, it’s important to regularly engage in open and honest conversation with your partner when it comes to purchases, particularly large ones. That way, you can better plan to save for and spend on any sizable expenses that may be coming up. Note that payment plans and options, including “buy now, pay later” finance offerings, should be discussed as part of any conversations about how to finance a large purchase.

2. Undisclosed Debt

Imagine that you’re a newlywed who suddenly starts seeing bills begin to pile up, sizable repeated payments go out the door or past due creditor notices arrive in the mail. As you’d imagine, it can be disconcerting, and unexpected debts can place undue strain on a marriage. Moreover, if these debts aren’t paid in timely fashion, it can also impact your credit as a couple.

Debt itself doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker, but if your partner has, say, a large outstanding student loan that’s going to impact your monthly budget or ability to save for a new home? That’s something that needs to be discussed ASAP.

3. Inability To Compromise On Spending

If both parties in a couple aren’t on the same page when it comes to spending habits, it can create friction in a marriage. To avoid stress here, it’s best to work together to develop shared spending and savings goals, and make a point to stick to them as best possible. Certainly, you may not always agree with every decision that your partner makes, and compromise is often important in a relationship. At the same time, it’s also important for a happy marriage to make sure that you and your partner aren’t so far apart on your financial plans and everyday spending habits that it creates friction.

10 Tips For Handling Marriage Finances

Making a point to work together as a couple to handle finances in marriage is more important than ever these days. In fact, more and more relationship advisors suggest that financial communication and compatibility is becoming a critical component of any happy partnership. Below, you’ll find a number of hints, tips, and strategies that can help married couples better manage and spend their money.

1. Keep A Joint Bank Account

There are upsides and downsides to keeping joint versus separate bank accounts. For instance, you may want to have a separate bank account to help yourself better budget for your own spending. Holding a joint account means that your partner can make unexpected draws on your budget, but it can also make it more convenient to pay shared bills. Whatever the case, it’s important to engage in open communication and shared decision-making when it comes to managing finances in marriage. Holding a joint bank account allows you to better work as a team to manage your shared assets and spending. If you’d still prefer some degree of autonomy though, keep in mind that you can always employ a combination of joint and shared accounts as well.

2. Be Open About Purchases

Being transparent with your partner is critical when it comes to making purchases, and the total amount that you are spending. As a married couple, you may wish to set spending thresholds for yourself as a pair, or as individuals, as well as different spending categories into which various expenses fall. That way, you can make sure you’re having necessary conversations if the situation requires and avoiding unnecessary friction. For instance, you may not need to have a conversation about your partner’s penchant for spending $10 here and there on coffee, but may wish to if they’re spending more than $200 on it in a month.

3. Set Goals Together

Making a point to set financial goals together can help you when it comes to creating aligned financial visions and objectives. That means having discussions about everyday spending and saving, plans for retirement, and any wishes to make big purchases like buying a home or car or taking a family vacation. Sitting down with your partner and talking about your plans for the future as a couple is important so you know what goals you’re working toward as a couple and how to best budget to get there. As part of these discussions, you’ll also want to map out a financial strategy for meeting your objectives, and consider what options are available (e.g., 401(k) plans, Roth IRAs, etc.) for getting there.

4. Create A Budget

As a household, it can be beneficial to take part in a drafting a joint budget as well. This financial overview and monthly saving and spending roadmap should take into account the personality types, needs and goals of both partners, as well as shared plans as a couple. Making a point to budget out your income and expenses won’t just provide you with a better snapshot of how, when and where your money is coming and going each month. It will also maximize your odds of achieving financial success and minimize the amount of overall financial stress that you’ll encounter.

5. Put Debt On The Table

Part of being a responsible partner when plotting your finances in marriage is being honest, open and upfront about individual debts. That way, not only can you and your partner better plan and prepare for any associated expenses. As a couple, you two can also work together to create more collaborative and effective approaches to tackling debt. By tackling any concerns head-on, you’ll also save yourself from any unnecessary related hiccups and stress down the road.

6. Decide Who Will Manage What

Ask yourself: Who will pay which bills each month – and who will be responsible for managing debts, investments and savings accounts? Making a point to sit down with your partner and actively divide up financial responsibilities can help you better manage and stay on top of these tasks. Likewise, engaging in regular check-ins and discussions can help keep both partners actively involved and informed, and make sure that both stay up to date on the state of household finances.

7. List Your Spouse As A Beneficiary

Legally and practically, it’s important to keep beneficiary information current with your bank and investment account providers. That way, your spouse won’t have any trouble accessing funds and accounts in the event of your unexpected passing. Likewise, you’ll also want to create and maintain an up-to-date will that describes how to dispense your assets and describes how any holdings are to be maintained and/or distributed. That means having to review and make sure information is up to date with your bank, investment provider, insurance company, employer, etc.

8. Have Financial Date Nights

Managing your finances doesn’t always have to feel like work. Often, it can be more enjoyable to set aside dedicated time with your partner to discuss topics like goals, plans for retirement and where you might dream of traveling in a more relaxed setting. Asking questions here about things that your partner looks forward to doing or goals that they hope to achieve won’t just provide helpful planning information, but also a lively topic of discussion and source of insight. Conversations had here can also often lead to more effective communication and teamwork.

9. Address Family Issues

Keep in mind that navigating big picture financial decisions often involves taking both immediate and extended family members and their wants and needs into consideration. Discussions here can become even more important if you’re facing an illness in the family, dealing with an aging parent or juggling concerns related to your children. Whatever the case may be, it’s important for you as a married couple to establish and maintain healthy financial boundaries with relatives, including your own children.

10. Seek Help When Needed

With the costs of everyday living on the rise, and economic uncertainty growing, it’s not always easy to make things work on your own. Bearing this in mind, it’s not uncommon for married couples to seek outside help from marriage counselors, support groups and qualified financial advisors. Money is a common source of friction for many households and couples. There’s no shame in seeking help for any disagreements that may arise concerning your finances.

The Bottom Line: Rely On Each Other To Meet Your Long Term Goals

Marriage isn’t just a personal relationship – it’s also a financial one as well. That means it’s especially important for couples to be on the same page here when it comes to saving, spending and managing their household finances. After all, it’s all too common for money matters to place a drain on relationships. Thankfully, taking the time out to regularly, openly and honestly communicate with your partner about income, expenses and debts can help you maintain more harmony in your marriage.

Managing your finances in marriage doesn’t have to be stressful or difficult when you and your partner work as a team to get a handle on your budget.

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