Your Guide: How To Talk About Money With Your Partner

Talking about money, especially with someone you care about, is a hard task to tackle. Maybe you don’t want to offend them, or you’re nervous your significant other’s ideas of how to save and spend money are different from yours. But discussing finances is crucial to building a shared life, so let’s discuss how to talk about money with your partner.

When Is It Time To Bring Up Couple Finances?

Topics like money aren’t usually on the forefront of one’s mind when a relationship starts, but a good time to bring up finances is typically before any major milestones pass. Moving in together means sharing rent and groceries, maybe even getting a joint bank account. Before any of these big decisions happen, you’ll want to make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your finances.

Important Financial Conversations For Couples

Now that you’ve figured out the when, you’ll need to think about the details. What do you talk about during an important financial conversation? Here are some topics about money to help get you started:

Your Individual Financial Situation

Before you can figure out how to progress with joint finances, it’s important for you and your partner to understand each other’s individual financial situations. Talk about any student loans you’re paying, credit card debt you carry, your credit score and history, and how much you have in savings. This is super important as it helps you figure out what you have to begin with individually and how to move forward together.

Your Major Financial Goals

One of the main reasons to discuss finances is that both of you have your own financial goals that you want to accomplish one day. Maybe your major goal is to save for a home, but your partner’s is to save for retirement or contributing to an emergency fund. Whatever the case may be, being able to identify your major goals will help you and your partner narrow in on what your major prioritized financial goals are.

Your Spending Habits

It might be obvious to you what your partner spends their money on if you’ve been together for a while. Even so, discussing your spending habits is a great way to see where you and your significant other’s everyday priorities are. For example, if they tend to be an over spender in certain categories or like to invest money, it’s good to know these things beforehand.

Your Current Income And Earning Potential

Talk about your current income and what you could be potentially making 5 or 10 years down the line. This is important if you want to make any long-term financial goals together, but bringing this up will also allow you to discuss if it makes sense and how you want to plan to combine finances in the future.

Your Approach To Saving

Lastly, discuss how you like to save money. Your partner might prefer to save less money in comparison to you, or you might have a different view on how to split your paycheck into what you can spend and what goes into a savings account. Whatever the case, knowing the different approaches you and your partner have to saving will help you figure out a mutually beneficial plan toward achieving shared goals.

Tips For Discussing Money As A Couple

Having the money conversation may seem stressful at first. But remember that open communication about a delicate subject will not only reduce your stress in the matter, but will also help you avoid any future miscommunications by failing to address financial situations.

Here are some tips to help you start a dialogue about personal finances.

Plan The Conversation In Advance

Having a plan laid out beforehand will not only ease any anxieties about bringing up money but ensure that you’ve thought about what you expect in regard to finances. It will also get you thinking about the different outcomes these points could have. This way if you feel the conversation going astray, you have the initial plan to refer to.

Acknowledge That Talking About Money Can Be Hard

Discussing finances can be difficult, but acknowledging this with your partner can take off some of the pressure. Get on the same page as to how you want to treat this conversation before you start. It’s a great way to level expectations and prepare to listen to each other without bias.

Avoid Judgment

If you find you and your partner aren’t agreeing, or passing judgment onto one another, remind yourself that this doesn’t have to be a fight. Different views on finances, while important to discuss, can be okay if you and your partner find solutions that benefit both people. Avoid getting angry and judgmental and see the other side of things to help yourself be a better listener. It’s okay to table the conversation if emotions are running high; come back to the subject when you’ve both had time to decompress.

Don’t Try To Cover Every Financial Topic At Once

With such a heavy conversation and a lot of important topics to go through, it might be best to break it up into separate discussions. This way, it doesn’t feel so cumbersome or scary. Depending on where you and your partner are at, maybe start with discussing how you want to split rent and groceries.

Create a list together of every financial discussion you want to have. Work your way through it whenever it feels right or relevant.

Make It A Learning Experience For Both Of You

If you go into this conversation with a one-sided mindset, nothing is going to get accomplished. Instead, view this as another way to get to know your partner. Their financial habits are just as much a part of them as their hobbies, likes and dislikes. Create an environment where your partner knows you are listening to better understand how to handle your joint finances.

FAQs: How To Handle Finances In A Relationship

Here are some frequently asked questions about finances in a relationship.

How do I talk about money with my new partner?

With a new partner, it’s hard to know when to bring up something more serious like money. But this is all the more reason to have casual conversations about it. Start with something small, like how they spend their money on a day-to-day basis or how much of their paycheck they put into a savings account.

How do couples split finances?

How to split your finances will depend entirely on your relationship and personal situations. Consider your financial standing as well as your partner’s. It might make sense to go 50/50 on all spending and saving. Or maybe 75/25 if one person has a lower income.

Remember that how you split your finances can and will change depending on the situation, so stay open to the possibility that what works for you now might be different in 5 years.

How do I address money issues in a relationship?

It’s never easy to bring up issues, especially when it comes to money. But saying something is typically better than leaving it be.

Start with stating what the issue is and how it affects you. Don’t just place blame, let them know that you’re there to help and that you want to come up with solutions that benefit the both of you.

The Bottom Line: How To Split Household Bills Is A Vital Conversation

Just like every other part of your relationship, talking about money and personal finances is something vital that will inevitably happen. In order to make this discussion not as scary as it seems, remember that clear and open communication, as well as listening, is the key to being able to discuss finances as truthfully as you can.

Want to figure out how to work with your life partner to ensure a healthy financial future? Get the Rocket Money℠ app today so you can both have visibility over your finances.